Scary stuff, sometimes I think that I'm glad I'm still single.....

Reply to article

For original story, Click Here.

It happened to me, but I did not realise at the time as I was busy working. I was married for over 20 years and was the main earner and all my pay went into a joint account - I was allocated a fortnightly petrol / spending allowance. I trusted my ex-wife who managed the money as she was working part-time and we had 2 school aged children. We had a credit card under my name issued to both of us. The credit limit was always reached and several times when maxed to $8,000 (over 10 years ago) I re-drew on the mortgage to then repeat this process. Anyway, she wanted a divorce as she was unhappy (10 years ago) and claimed 60 % of total assets including super - and I paid child support as I was working. Fast forward to today and I'm single 60 with not enough super but managed to get into a small villa unit. I was both financially abused and divorce raped if I can say that here. I am able to save money towards my retirement and other things as now I have access to all of my own money to do what I want with it.

Reply to article

For original story, Click Here.

Watching this happen to a man I have known for 15 years. His wife has his pay paid into her account, she doles out "his" allowance from it. Meanwhile, as the recipient for three full pensions - two for her disabled adult children and one for herself as their carer, she lives a very easy life. She's just managed to get him to buy a car for her and yet while she's sitting at home he's busting his backside in a menial job 48 hours a week. I have recently discovered via my own research that his name is not on the house deed. The only thing he owns is his car and when he bought that she hit the roof.

In the four cases I have come across in the past four years, ALL perpetrators have been women.

We need to get past this common understanding that domestic violence is committed against women only and we need to strip that very blatant implication from all advertising that is currently across our tv screens and social media. It's a bright, shining lie.

Reply to article

For original story, Click Here.

Oh, here we go...

This is NOT financial abuse:

1. Your wage (the primary family income) went into a JOINT account, so you both had access.

I bet your wife did the budgeting, shopping, bill paying, etc and worked part time and got an allowance - like you did.

2. You both had credit cards to access a credit account in your name only - because you earned enough to qualify but your wife didn't, so you consented to her having a secondary card so she could pay bills, etc. Correct? Of course it is.

3. 40/60 is the most common property settlement split in divorce in Australia.

My guess is you worked 40 hours/wk while she sacrificed her career prospects/super, etc and did everything else like parenting/home/family/finances, etc.

You were not 'divorce raped'. How ridiculous. You just thought that all you had to contribute to the family you equally created and were responsible for was 40hrs/week - out of 268hrs - and nothing more because you were paid for your labour. The other problem is that men often think and act like the family income is 'their' money and routinely belittle and insinuate that your partner does "nothing all day" and are less valuable than you because their labour is mostly unpaid - despite their longer hours and that you and your children together also benefit from her unpaid labour.

What you got in your divorce was a fair settlement according to the law and your contributions. Misogynistic behaviour has no place in a family unit and re-writing history to manipulate others into believing you were financially abused is abhorrent, frankly.

Reply to article

For original story, Click Here.

It sounds like you are assuming a lot about someone else's family situation, Sarah.

You do realise that making large purchases without the knowledge of your life partner - like a car - could also constitute financial abuse?

On top of that, you are snooping on your friend's private family information?

Come on!

Reply to article

For original story, Click Here.