How to navigate painful conversations about aged care

A catch-up with close relatives over the holiday season can always spring a few surprises but what happens when that surprise is a newfound understanding of an older relative's age-related vulnerability and health?

A family gathering with older family members over the holiday season might have been the first time you realised they need additional support. Starting a conversation about future care needs can save on confusion and worry down the track.

Here are some practical steps to support you and your relative to start a more open dialogue on this important wellbeing topic:

Start the conversation on care planning

There are a number of reasons why you should plan ahead and well before the need for aged care is imminent and they boil down to the practicalities of ageing and the realities of finding (and financing) quality care for your loved one.

For instance:

• In many cases, the need to move into residential care can be sudden due to a serious illness or injury (eg a stroke, heart attack, or fall), or another unexpected event
• It's not uncommon to find there are significant waitlists for residential care, particularly at the more popular facilities
• Regardless of whether home or residential aged care is required, if you wait until the last minute to speak to a financial adviser, you may not be able to minimise the fees you may have to pay and/or maximise the social security benefits you may receive, and
• There are changes to the costs of care from July 1, 2025.

Know your options

The ideal for many families is to support their relative to live independently for as long as possible.

Government-supported home care options are designed with this in mind and can provide a range of supports for those wishing to stay in their home.

Across these options, care can range from meal preparation, gardening or housework, transport for shopping or appointments personal care, such as help with showering and dressing, together with occasional nursing care to continuous nursing care for those with a greater degree of frailty.

Assess costs and a funding strategy

A range of fees may be payable when accessing care services. One of the key payments when moving into residential care is the accommodation payment.  A couple of important features about this payment include the fact it is:

• subject to certain limits
• can be paid as a lump sum, in regular instalments, or a combination of a lump sum and regular instalments
• includes a retention amount deducted from lump sum payments for a limited period from July 1, 2025, and
• is published on the facilities website and at myagedcare.gov.au for potential residents to consider.

It's therefore important to ensure you will have sufficient assets to pay the accommodation payment required to secure yourself a spot in your facility of choice when the time comes. You'll also need to budget to cover the ongoing aged care fees and any living expenses.

Don't forget

Access to government subsided aged care support, either at home or in a residential aged care facility, requires a medical assessment. This determines the level of care that is needed.

Also, if residential aged care is a possibility in the future, ideally you would visit a range of facilities in your chosen area, decide your preferences and discuss these with family.

Bringing a financial adviser into the discussion is also a smart step that can help you to:

• determine whether care in your preferred facility is affordable, and
• potentially start restructuring your assets to ensure you obtain the care you want.

Conclusion

Although talking about ageing and aged care can be a difficult discussion to initiate, particularly if your relative is attached to their independence, a shared understanding that your concerns stem from a genuine desire to ensure their comfort and quality of life can help to ease any tension.

The aim is to understand what their preferences are if their health and independence does decline.

Knowing their thinking and making a plan accordingly can take away a lot of the stress of making big decisions about care under forced or hurried circumstances.

By starting this important discussion early you can support your loved one to make better, more informed decisions - and secure a better quality of life for your loved one in the process.

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