The truth about the cost of dying crisis

Once, we knew how to deal with death.

While rituals differed across cultures, it was common to dress the deceased ourselves, carry them to rest and honour their memory. We buried our own and knew how to perform this last sacred act for those who had departed.

Over time, we outsourced this responsibility, entrusting it to an industry that promised dignity and care.

There are hundreds of funeral homes in Australia serving the 452 people who die daily on average in this country. However, while funeral homes carry a variety of names and brands, they tend to be owned by a few large corporations.

And until people confront the death of a loved one, they presume it's a straightforward and transparent process that will aid them during what is often the most difficult time of their lives.

The reality is often entirely at odds with this assumption, with upselling, exorbitant pricing and emotional pressure the norm.

However, a change is emerging, as innovative companies launch new offerings that challenge the status quo. And from this, a steady stream of providers is transforming memorialisation, offering new and unusual ways to honour the departed.

Known as 'death disruptors', they are reimagining death through a digital lens, catering to the growing trends of individualism and environmentalism and transforming how Australians say goodbye.

The average cost of a funeral in Australia

The Cost of Death Report, published by insurance group Australian Seniors, estimated that the average cost of a burial in 2019 was $9055, but by 2023 this had risen to $11,039.

Meanwhile, cremations had risen from $6334 to $8045.

According to the report, most people over 50 (89%) believe funerals are becoming too expensive. Yet when it comes to the emotional impact, 43% feel the expense is worth it.

Therein lies the contradiction that the funeral industry can exploit.

Sandra van der Laan, a professor of accounting at The University of Sydney, experienced first-hand the challenges of navigating the funeral industry after the death of Linda, her sister.

Linda was a single mother, and the responsibility for her funeral initially fell on her three children, aged in their teens and early 20s.

"They were told by the hospital to simply call a funeral director, which I found distressing," says van der Laan. "They obviously had no money to pay for a funeral or knew where to start."

An itemised breakdown of funeral costs help with planning

Taking on the responsibility, van der Laan called a funeral provider.

The first quote was a shock: $6000. Determined to understand the costs, she requested an itemised breakdown.

"I was treated like I was disrespecting my sister's memory for even asking," she says.

Van der Laan persisted, calling another provider for a second quote, and negotiated a price of $3700 by removing unnecessary extras: the $1200 coffin became $400 and she declined the sandwiches, flowers and celebrant.

"We wanted a no-frills funeral, if only we were asked."

The experience led to her writing an academic paper about funerals, which calls on industry and policymakers to regulate the service, emphasising product and price transparency.

The research found that regulation in the funeral industry is limited, providing an opportunity for both predatory pricing and marketing by operators.

Seven years later, van der Laan says these recommendations have been ignored, leaving consumers vulnerable to high costs and limited choices.

"While some progress has been made, it has been fragmented across different States and Territories and met with reluctance by industry," she says.

"The industry is monopolistic, allowing major providers to set prices that don't necessarily directly reflect the services provided."

Why funeral homes are now big business

To consumers, the funeral industry seems to offer a variety of choices. Those who are organising a funeral can opt for well-known brands such as White Lady Funerals or Simplicity Funerals, choose a local business, or select a family-owned operator such as Lester & Son.

And while many people have a positive experience, these diverse options are just different faces of the same corporate entity, InvoCare.

Together with the ASX-listed Propel Funeral Partners, they control at least 375 of the approximately 1000 funeral businesses in Australia.

According to Sam McConkey, co-founder of Bare Funerals and self-proclaimed death disruptor, these large players have become "thematically focused private equity firms".

"Instead of consolidating operations into a few large, centralised funeral businesses, they prefer to acquire many smaller, independent ones," he says.

"By buying a long tail of funeral homes, these companies reduce overhead costs and increase the overall value of the company. Effectively, this creates an economy of scale, rather than achieving growth through anything fundamental in the business."

And while economies of scale can lead to increased efficiency and often profits, they can stifle innovation when a few firms dominate a market.

"These large companies aren't motivated to invest in the future of customer experience," says McConkey.

"Why would they take the risk of developing new products or services, even if customers want them, when they can simply maintain the current business model?"

A mortician by trade, Sam Clowes had always been 'fascinated by death'. But a few months after starting his career at a big funeral company he left because it didn't align with his values.

"Time is money, so it's all about getting the job done," he says.

"They cut corners to make their job easier rather than doing it in a respectful way. The care of the person is treated as just a job."

The dark side of the funeral industry

For decades, the funeral industry has been shrouded in controversy.

A Four Corners investigation in 2019 uncovered allegations from whistleblowers that funeral homes were disposing of rubbish alongside human remains and using counterfeit coffins.

These fake coffins had glossy exteriors but were constructed primarily of cardboard.

The industry has become infamous for opaque practices.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission published a report in 2021 highlighting its concerns about the funeral sector, pointing to several issues, including a lack of clarity and transparency in pricing information.

Starting a not-for-profit funeral service

In 2019, Clowes left the for-profit business and volunteered at Tender Funerals, the country's largest not-for-profit funeral service. Five years later, he is general manager for Tender Funerals Mid North Coast and the franchise development and compliance lead nationally.

The not-for-profit model offers a stark contrast to the traditional model in terms of pricing and, says Clowes, care. By charging only the direct cost of services, it exposes the exorbitant mark-ups that are common in the industry.

For instance, he says a cardboard coffin, costing just $187 from the wholesale supplier, can be sold for as much as $880 by for-profit providers. Similarly, he says a rosewood coffin, costing $561, can be sold down the road for more than $3900.

"There's little information about mark-ups on products and services. People don't know that coffins don't actually cost that much. They see a high price and assume it is justified," he says.

More importantly, however, the real difference between Tender and its for-profit peers is the level of care involved, according to Clowes.

"Since we are motivated by compassion instead of profit, we are much more supportive for families," he says.

Why the funeral industry is ripe for disruption  

As Clowes found, the traditional funeral industry has long been ripe for disruption.

Five years ago, Sam McConkey, a former lawyer and tech entrepreneur, realised this presented an opportunity and founded Bare Funerals.

"The funeral industry was built to serve the 'silent' and 'greatest' generations," he says. "It was a time when people were more traditional and religious, and local funeral homes were the norm."

However, the baby boomer generation, having grown up with the idea of individualism, demands a different approach. Recognising this shift, Bare Funerals sought to create a modern, consumer-centric death experience.

Bare's digital-first approach allows families to arrange funerals from the comfort of their own homes. "This eliminates the need to visit a cold, impersonal funeral parlour," he says.

By removing the need for physical funeral homes and moving the process online, Bare has significantly lowered prices. For example, a cremation-only service in metro NSW costs $2899 compared with the industry average of $3988.

Venues are flexible, and can be as diverse as the local pub, the surf lifesaving club or a backyard.

Better end-of-life care  

Beyond that, the company can also provide comprehensive end-of-life care, including pre-planning, will and estate planning, even assistance with administrative tasks such as closing utility and social media accounts, and notifying government agencies including the tax office and Centrelink.

"It's hard to manage all of the things associated with the loss of a loved one. The problem is funeral directors traditionally have a very narrow role to play," says McConkey.

This holistic package aims to address the emotional and practical challenges faced by grieving families. And while Bare hopes to increase scale in the coming years, McConkey wants to achieve this through innovation rather than buying out the market.

"The future of Bare is to take a much longer role in end-of-life care. Currently you need to figure out all these small things that take incredible amounts of time and pain. It takes you away from what you should be doing, which is grieving and being around the people that matter to you."

In the comfort of home

Another trend is aimed at those who want a more personalised and self-directed end-of-life experience. There are an increasing number of innovations on offer.

They include cool plates, which many people are unaware of. A cool plate can keep a body cold for up to five days, allowing families to spend more time with their loved one at home. However, Clowes says this is rarely offered to families by the for-profit companies. Instead, they stick to the rule that bodies must be removed by a funeral provider within eight hours of death.

"The for-profit industry often doesn't inform families about this option," says Clowes, "but a cool plate can extend this time."

This increased flexibility has resulted in a rise in at-home death care. "At-home death care is fantastic because it brings death care back to what it originally was - caring for one's own," says Clowes.

He recalls a recent at-home vigil that comforted a grieving family. "We had dropped off a cool plate, explained how to use it, and then had minimal involvement until the person was 
ready to be picked up."

In terms of location, Clowes says there are generally two guidelines: "The funeral must be safe for all involved and you must have permission to have the coffin present. However, having the body displayed involves a lot more organising.

"We've had wineries, lookouts, pavilions - all sorts of places. My grandma's funeral was at a scout hall because of her connection to it. We recently had one at an old butter factory.

"As long as the venue allows it, you can have a funeral there."

Taking a green approach

As the push towards individualism grows, so too does demand for eco-friendly funerals.

Green burials involve burying the deceased in a shroud or casket covered in biodegradable materials such as bamboo, wool, cardboard, even moss and mushrooms. Instead of gravestones, the marking can be a tree or a rock.

Biodegradable urns are also on offer via companies such as Loop Biotech and The Living Urn.

According to the 2019 Cost of Dying Report, 29.6% of seniors would consider a green funeral. However, with many of the cemeteries owned by traditional funeral providers, there are fewer than 20 green burial grounds across Australia.

Additionally, progress is being made in cremations, with a move towards electric cremators instead of gas, releasing around 90% fewer carbon emissions.

Water cremations, also known as aquamation, have also arrived on our shores. The country's first provider, Environmentally Friendly Cremations, conducts this emissions-reducing process across the east coast.

A NSW metro funeral director quoted by Australian Seniors explains the process: "Rather than using fire in a crematorium and putting the fumes into the air, a body is placed into a cylinder, and it's filled with water. The water is brought to 90 degrees in temperature and potassium is added to the water to alkalise it and then the water is released into the environment."

While this trend is growing, McConkey says it's hard to predict the future of green funerals, as these services are few and far between. "While I hope it becomes more popular, I don't expect it to become the norm in the next decade."

There's no need to rush

The loss of a loved one is a deeply painful experience, but it's rarely an emergency, says McConkey. "Slow down. The more time you give yourself to ask the right questions and make sure the decisions you're making feel right, the better off you'll be at the end."

The University of Sydney's Sandra van der Laan recommends people never feel pressured into going with the first option. "While it may feel like the last thing you want to do, comparing prices could save you thousands," she says.

There are now comparison sites, such as Gathered Here and Funeral Choice, that can help assess your options. But van der Laan says the prices could be inaccurate and often compare 
full-service funerals. "Know your options. You don't have to have all the bells and whistles.

You don't have to have it at a church or a funeral home. Celebrate life how you want."

Of course, if you're the one who's dying, that's easier said than done. But there are some practical tips to help you prepare:  
• Discuss end-of-life wishes: Have open conversations with your loved ones about your wishes, including funeral preferences, organ donation and medical directives. 
• Create a digital will: This document outlines your wishes for your online accounts and digital assets. Assign a trusted individual to manage your digital legacy. 
• Write an emotional will: This document can express your feelings, resolve unfinished business and offer guidance to loved ones. 
Clowes says an emotional will is especially important. "So many people have unfinished business. Often not huge things, just little conversations or arguments with people that have been left unresolved."

"They've had the time but never the willpower to go and resolve the problem. Emotional wills give you and your loved ones this resolution and peace of mind."

How to tackle the topic

To make the process of planning for end-of-life care and bereavement more accessible, the industry has found ways to break the ice.

For example, Bare Funerals has released a podcast and video TV series called The Final Encore.

"We interview famous older Australians about their funeral plans in a lighthearted, comedic way," says founder Sam McConkey. "Hopefully, people think that if Ian Chappell or Osher Günsberg can talk about their future plans, then maybe it's not so scary for me to talk about them too."

Bare Funerals has also created The Final Shuffle, an interactive card game to help people navigate the topics of life, death and everything in between.  "In each deck you'll find more than 100 questions categorised into four topics, focused on everything from your personal end-of-life wishes to more nostalgic memories," says McConkey.

Van der Laan recommends attending a death cafe, many of which are advertised on websites and social media: "These meet-ups create opportunities for people to get together and discuss death and grief, both emotionally and practically," she says.

"Over tea and cake, you can go over your questions with others going through a similar experience or people from the industry."

Inspirations for a final goodbye  

A peaceful departure 

"We had one lady, approved for voluntary assisted dying, who wished to die in her coffin. She decorated her coffin, took it home and placed the cool plate underneath. She took her medicine and died in her coffin. And then the family had a vigil around her. It was a beautiful experience that was what the family and the lady wanted." 
- Sam Clowes, Tender Funerals.

A volcanic tribute 

"A travel journalist, passionate about Hawaii, wanted a distinctive farewell. His ashes were placed within a tiki, a wooden likeness of himself. This symbolic vessel was then thrown into an active volcano, accompanied by a tequila offering to appease the local gods. His loved ones danced at the base of the volcano to his favourite band." 
- Sam McConkey, Bare Funerals.

Bridging divides

"We had a family where one side was extremely Catholic and the other were complete atheists. So, we organised two funerals: one in the church and another across the road in a park. It meant they both got to have a meaningful experience and get what they wanted."
- Sam Clowes.

An explosive farewell 

"A gun enthusiast, with a love for all things explosive, planned a truly unique memorial. His ashes were mixed into gunpowder for a 21-gun salute held on his property. Additionally, a 'loved one launcher' was purchased to propel his remains 60 yards into the air during a celebratory party." 
- Sam McConkey.

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