Is this financial abuse? 10 red flags you need to know

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Financial abuse is far more common and far more subtle than most people realise. It doesn't always look like empty bank accounts or unpaid bills. Often, it shows up quietly through everyday financial behaviours that are normalised, excused, or misunderstood, especially within intimate relationships.

CreditSmart research shows that one in five Australians has experienced some form of financial abuse from a partner. Yet many people don't recognise what's happening to them until much later, sometimes only after a relationship has ended.

Like any kind of abuse, financial abuse thrives in the shadows. This is why we must know what it looks like, particularly the less obvious signs, so those who are affected get the support they need to protect their long-term financial security.

Could your partner's money habits be financial abuse? Learn the subtle signs and how to protect yourself.

What is financial abuse? 

At its core, financial abuse is about control. It occurs when one person uses money, financial systems, or access to resources to limit another person's independence or autonomy.

This can involve overt actions, such as taking money without consent or running up debts in someone else's name. But more often, it appears through behaviours that are framed as 'managing the finances' or 'being responsible'.

Common but often unrecognised examples include one partner monitoring or questioning every dollar the other spends, requiring justification for purchases, or setting strict 'allowances' for what their partner can spend. Another red flag is unequal access to financial information: for example, one partner having full access to the other's bank accounts or passwords, while keeping their own finances private.

In a financially abusive relationship, it's also common for someone with a poor credit history to pressure their partner to take out a loan or credit card in their name because they can't get approved themselves. This leaves the victim carrying the debt - along with the risk of damage to their credit file if payments cannot be made - long after the relationship ends.

Financial abuse can also go beyond control of finances. Some people use banking tools to harass or intimidate, such as sending repeated small transfers with abusive transaction descriptions. Others attempt to shut down or control access to accounts entirely. While banks are increasingly able to detect and respond to these patterns, early awareness is key to identifying and supporting those who need it.

What makes financial abuse so hard to recognise? 

One of the things which is striking is how often people only identify financial abuse in hindsight. Survivors consistently report that they didn't see these behaviours as abusive at the time, particularly when they were hidden behind cultural norms or expectations.

Beliefs that one partner should 'handle all the money', or assumptions that financial control is simply part of caring for the household, can mask deeply harmful behaviour. This can occur regardless of income or education level, leaving financially independent or high-earning individuals vulnerable to coercive financial abuse.

Cost-of-living pressures compound the impact of this abuse, making it harder to question financial arrangements or assert independence because control is framed as 'necessary' for the victim's financial wellbeing. That's why knowledge matters. Even if someone isn't in a position to act immediately, understanding the signs can plant a seed and provide clarity and confidence to seek support when it's safe to do so.

From an industry perspective, it's important to understand that financial abuse often shows up first through credit products, banking access, or loan applications. That places brokers, lenders, and other industry professionals in the important role of helping to identify and support those who may be impacted.

Training to recognise the red flags of abuse, such as loans taken out in someone else's name or signs of coercive control during applications, is essential. Trauma-informed communication can help customers feel safe disclosing concerns, while clear referral pathways ensure they're directed to appropriate support.

The lasting impact on financial wellbeing 

Financial abuse doesn't end when a relationship does. It can leave lasting scars on a person's financial stability, including damaged credit scores, difficulty accessing housing or loans, and long-term stress and insecurity.

If any of these behaviours feel familiar, it's important to know you're not alone and that help is available. Learning the signs of financial abuse is a powerful first step.

Unauthorised accounts, unpaid debts, or coerced loans can remain on a credit report for years if they're not identified and addressed. That's why checking your credit report is such an important step, as it can reveal debts or applications you didn't knowingly agree to, and help you take action early. Trusted resources like CreditSmart offer clear information about your credit rights, how credit reporting works, and what protections exist if your financial identity has been misused.

When it's safe, reaching out for support, whether through financial counsellors, banks or specialist services, can help you get the financial and emotional help you need to remove yourself from harm.

By understanding how financial behaviour intersects with credit and the lasting effect it can have on one's financial and emotional wellbeing, the industry and consumers alike can play a meaningful role in identifying harm early and reducing long-term damage. Financial abuse thrives on silence and misunderstanding, but by recognising the signs, we can empower individuals, strengthen industry responses, and build a safer financial system.

Spot the signs: Financial abuse red flags you shouldn't ignore

🚩 Monitoring or questioning every dollar spent, or requiring justification for purchases
🚩 Imposing strict spending limits or allowances
🚩 Unequal access to financial information (e.g. one partner controls accounts/passwords)
🚩 Pressuring someone to take out loans or credit cards in their name
🚩 Running up debts in someone else's name without consent
🚩 Using banking tools to harass (e.g., abusive messages in transaction descriptions)
🚩 Blocking or restricting access to bank accounts
🚩 Framing financial control as "responsibility" or "managing finances"
🚩 Cultural or household norms used to justify control (e.g. "one partner should handle all money")
🚩 Signs during financial applications (e.g. coercion, loans in someone else's name)

If you or someone you know needs support
1800Respect: 1800 737 732
National Debt Helpline: 1800 007 007

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Elsa Markula is the CEO of the Australian Retail Credit Association (ARCA). Appointed to this role in August 2022, she was previously the regulatory executive director, and has played a pivotal role in the initial drafting and ongoing variations to the Credit Reporting Code, the development of an industry code for data exchange and the review and operation of the Australian Credit Reporting Data Standard. Previously, Elsa worked at the Financial Ombudsman Service and, prior to that, worked in private practice as a legal practitioner focusing on general and civil litigation. She holds a Bachelor of Arts and a Bachelor of Laws from the University of Queensland. Connect with Elsa Markula on LinkedIn.