Mel Buttle on comedy, basketball cards and Cabbage Patch kids

Comedian Melinda Buttle is the creator of the beloved Mum/Lyn character on Instagram is the go-to woman for her take on the absurdities of modern life.

She is a regular on Network Ten's The Project and has written for shows as diverse as the ABC's Ronny Chieng: International Student, The Drum, You're Skitting Me and Please Like Me, and Network 10's This Week Live.

She is currently on tour (appearing at the Melbourne and Sydney Comedy festivals) with her show Not Here to Put Socks on Centipedes.

What was your first job? 

I worked at Woolies in the deli, and I loved every minute. I loved it.

I always sprinkled extra seasoning on the hot chooks - customers are king, after all. I learned a lot about people.

Many members of the public don't care that you've already cleaned the slicer and the shop closes in two minutes.

What's the best money advice you've received? 

Will you be able to sleep at night if you do this? That's the crux of it for me.

Shares are a hoot, but if you're sick to your stomach when they drop 1%, then it won't work out for you.

What's the best investment decision you've made? 

Buying property. I bought my first house in Ipswich, Queensland, and the mortgage was $242 a week. This was in 2019 FYI.

Don't tell everyone - I want to stash another one away first, please.

What's the worst investment decision you've made? 

I didn't understand the risk and time needed to invest in international managed funds.

I'd put in $2000 and when it dropped to $1200 a month later I panicked and pulled it out. I also used to spend all my pocket money on basketball cards, thinking I'd sell them and move straight into a mansion.

What is your favourite thing to splurge on? 

I have a problem with candles that smell like a fire in a log cabin.

If you had $10,000, where would you invest it? 

I'd get an exchange traded fund and tell myself I won't even look at it for two years, then check it daily. Now, when will you post me the $10,000 we talked about?

What would you do if you only had $50 left in the bank? 

I'd get back on the relief teacher call-up list and start emailing my resumé to schools I can walk to (to save on petrol, of course). Not my first time with $50 in the bank, guys.

Do you intend to leave an inheritance? 

Yes, definitely. My son is the rightful heir to my basketball cards and Cabbage Patch Kids portfolio.

Is there anything that's funny about money to you? 

I tried to make being a landlord funny on stage. It did not go well. I gave up very quickly.

Do you think there is something wrong with capitalism? 

Gosh, let me pull out a high school economics essay! I don't know; I tell jokes about going to the dump for a living. 
 
Finish this sentence:  Money makes...
... me buy three coffees a day. I know, I have to stop, it's just getting ridiculous.

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