Roses are red, so are the flags: How to spot a romance scam

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So you matched with someone on a dating app and have been chatting for a couple of weeks.

They are captivated, asking insightful personal questions, and have even given you a pet name. And now they're suggesting you communicate outside the dating app, via text or instant messaging instead.

Whirlwind relationship or romance scam in action?

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Aussies reported more than 3200 romance scams to Scamwatch last year, totalling almost $24 million in losses.

The real number could be much higher.

"Unfortunately, many people might be too embarrassed to report they have been a victim of a romance scam which makes it hard to quantify the impact," says Matt Hannan, head of fraud management at HSBC Australia.

Online dating has become "a scammer's paradise", says Australian Banking Association CEO Anna Bligh ahead of Valentine's Day on February 14.

If weeding out humans with dubious intentions wasn't demoralising enough, Aussies looking for love must now contend with artificial intelligence and deepfake scams infiltrating the online dating world.

"Scammers don't just send dodgy DMs to lure victims anymore -they deploy AI and deepfake technology to create fake profiles and identities," Bligh says.

"These scams are becoming more sophisticated, with artificially generated fake profiles and chatbots making fake love look like the real deal."

According to the ABA, Aussies should think twice before swiping right on professional or flawless looking photos, or limited or inconsistent profile information.

"The obvious one is the profile picture," says Money reader James Lee*. "If they look like an impossibly beautiful Instagram model, that's a red flag.

"If they start talking about crypto, that's a red flag too."

The ABA agrees.

Vague and repetitive answers (this could indicate you're chatting to a chatbot), pressure to move your chat to a messaging platform such as WhatsApp, professing their love for you early and often (known as love bombing), emotional requests for money, or attempts to convince you to invest in schemes, often with cryptocurrency, are all red flags that you may be the target of a romance scam.

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Bligh says scammers who target those on dating apps are the "lowest of the low".

"Scammers prey on Australians looking for love and turn romance into heartbreak," Bligh says.

"People don't just lose money - they suffer deep emotional trauma, thinking they've found love only to realise they are being swindled."

It's a disheartening experience, Lee says.

"It's really saddening when you go in with the best of intentions and an anonymous scammer on the other side is just trying to play you."

Whether your potential suitor claims to be from the next suburb or Brad Pitt, as in the case of one victim, banking, scam and dating app experts agree on one thing: if it seems too good to be true, it is.

"If something feels too good to be true and you're starting to sense red flags, don't ignore it - either do some digging or walk away before you lose more than just your heart," Bligh says.

"Never share financial information or send money to someone you haven't met in person and report suspicious activity if you have been targeted."

A spokesperson for the National Anti-Scam Centre also urged victims to come forward.

"Contacting support services can help victims understand what happened and also tells authorities about scam activities so they can work on making it harder for scams to succeed.

"The more we talk about scams, the less power the scammers have."

*Not his real name

Need to talk?
Report a scam: scamwatch.gov.au/report-a-scam
National Debt Helpline: 1800 007 007

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Sharyn McCowen is Money's digital editor. She has a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Charles Sturt University, and more than 17 years of experience in media.