Ask Paul: Can I help with my child's house deposit over wedding?

Dear Paul,

What are your thoughts about paying for a child's wedding?

We have two adult daughters. One is engaged.

We have some money put aside and could contribute about $10,000 to the wedding.

But I would rather see them put the money into a home deposit. I think the security of their own home should take precedence over a big, flashy day. - Frances

You are not going to get any argument from me, Frances.

Personally, I reckon a wedding with a few drinks with family and friends in a park or a pub is a great idea. I'm also very keen to be cremated in a cardboard coffin.

But you know what? I don't think either is likely in the modern world.

Vicki, my wife, is very unimpressed with my views on cheap funerals and even less happy with my idea for a couple of kegs of beer, wine and a sausage sizzle upon my demise.

As the old saying goes, 'the dead have no rights', so I suspect the cardboard coffin and the sausage sizzle will not be happening.

We have three adult kids and helped the two older ones with wedding costs.

Both are financially literate kids, as are their spouses, so we discussed the logic of the money going towards a deposit, but this was about as well received as my grandparents' advice that I should be turning lights off, air-conditioning and dishwashers were just a waste of money and I should not consider car ownership before 30.

Logically, this is all entirely correct, but both our now married kids, along with all their friends, reckon life is long, they will be working for decades and really wanted to celebrate a very special day.

The financial logic of this will never make sense to me at a technical or rational level but, goodness, we enjoyed both these special days!

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