Ask Paul: My son has ADHD and wastes all his money - help!
Can a young adult with ADHD learn to save and build a healthy relationship with money?
Reader question
Hi Paul,
My son is 22, works as a shopfitter, regularly gets paid more than $1000 week but cannot save money. He was diagnosed some years ago with ADHD and finds waiting for anything near impossible - money burns a hole in his pocket.
Do you have any advice on how we might help steer him on the track to having successful relationship with money? Thanks for considering my question. - Glenn
Paul's response
This is a challenging question, Glenn. I have a sense of guilt as I try to give you a sensible answer because at age 22, I was a student, earning pretty good money as a bartender at nights and on one of the weekend days.
Back then it was probably about $120 a week, paid in a brown paper envelope every Thursday.
I do remember being motivated to keep working as the envelope was always empty before the following Thursday!
I understand that your son's ADHD will make saving even harder, and despite my tragic non-saving efforts as a 22-year-old, we do need to talk about how we, as parents and grandparents, can help build good money habits.
You may well have tried all these things, but after many decades of talking to people about money, I do know that saving for savings' sake is pretty hopeless.
Humans are goal driven. I wonder if your son has any shorter term plans for say a holiday or a car that would motivate him to save? I know that 'save for retirement' is going to get us nowhere.
Another strategy I have seen used successfully by parents of kids living at home is a weekly rent and food contribution amount. If the family budget is not too tight, I have watched successful results as the money saved builds up and is available for a specific purpose.
If all fails right now, I'd keep talking money when it is appropriate and your son is receptive.
The ages of 18 to mid-20, in particular for boys, does seem like a lost world when it comes to doing anything vaguely sensible with money. Of course, there are exceptions, but I am happy to put my hand up as 'money useless' during those years.
But my parents did instill money basics into my brain, and by 24 or so a bit of maturity came along.
This, along with rent and other regular costs, triggered something and I took money more seriously.
What is great is that your son should be getting employer's super contributions, and on his good wage this will be growing.
Please make sure he is in a low-cost fund and is not paying for more insurance inside super than he needs.
And finally, good luck. This is not an easy challenge but I am thankful he has a good job and is growing super.
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